Tranquilizer
by Illumi Senri
Summary: Al is missing, or so Edward claimed. Is he really? Or is it Edward himself? Edward is losing his mind and the first person he turn to is Colonel Roy Mustang. The Colonel is also lost in Edward's unexpected weakness and Roy is astounded on their similarity. It never occured to him that the Fullmetal who's always arrogant and selfish is weak. (Parental and implied yaoi. Roy/Ed)


Roy Mustang stared at the mounds of paperwork he's been buried to, again today. When he became a colonel, the amount of paper works became astronomical that made him wonder if it can kill anybody because certainly he'll die before he became a Fuhrer at this rate. The paper works along with the stress entailed on each and every piece of paper is no joke.

There's definitely something in the air, as he look at the windows facing his back. The clouds are clumping down together in graying colors clearly indicating that its bout to rain. That gives Roy an unpleasant feeling because of some unpleasant memories he always suppressed. Rain had never been a good sign for him. It always entailed something unpleasant.

As Roy Mustang started to immersed himself with the new documents in hand, somebody opened the door without knocking. He glanced up without looking. Thinking its probably one of his men on the other room. Since he became a colonel, Roy was provided a separate office of his own. When his eyes motioned towards the small stature, piercingly red jacket and blond head, Roy frowned unconsciously.

Roy was about to voiced out some sarcastic remarks that he always greet Edward Elric with. Because that's the kind of relationship they have. The kind of relationship that could only be described as 'strained' at most. Where they both try to take advantage of each other. Roy Mustang do care genuinely for Edward and Alphonse Elric as he tried to help them out in the shadows the whole time, but he wouldn't be caught dead admitting that. Then Edward Elric's talent is the real thing, that's why he deliberately assigned Edward to some delicate missions.

Those missions that would be proven successful at the end of the report along with the enormous amount of damage to a town or city for sticking their heads more than necessary with their life in danger ,and they always stumbled to something big that made Roy wonder if the brothers are natural magnets for trouble. No wonder Edward seemed to dislike him. He somehow thinks that Roy is always behind those dangerous missions that put their lives at risk.

Roy was about to give Edward his improvised sarcastic remarks. He usually prepared those careful and witty words that would always push Edward on his wrong buttons, when its Edward's due to pass his regular reports.

But as soon as it register to Roy that he's not facing the 'usual' Edward with his impudence, rudeness and biting insults, the sarcasm died in Roy's mouth.

"Your regular report is not due yet, Fullmetal." Roy said testily then he got up from his swivel chair and walked closer towards Edward when he saw him mumbling something.

"Colonel, have you seen Al here?" worry and helplessness is etched on Edward's beautiful face. This is the first time that Roy have seen Edward this way. In his moment of weakness. He always looked so strong and can take care of himself that Roy and the rest of the military always forgot that this prodigy is still a child.

This is the first time that Edward finally seemed like a 15 years old, rather than a small guy trying to become adult fast. "No, what happened?" Roy asked as calmly as he could. Clearly, seeing The Fullmetal this shaken is quite serious.

"Al is… Al is.." Edward talk incoherently. He started clutching his head. Beads of sweat is visible on his forehead.

"Calm down. What happened? First tell me where you last saw him.." Roy said in an even tone. But seeing Fullmetal this shaken is quite disturbing on its own way.

"Al is… Al is…" Edward kept clutching his head, slumping his body on the wall next to the door. That alarmed Roy so much that he grabbed Edward's arm upward.

"Fullmetal..!" Roy half shouted. Edward stopped at the voice of Roy. He looked up to meet Roy's obsidian eyes.

When Edward looked up, Roy stopped on his tracks. On that moment, Roy clearly saw a replica of him in Edward. The way Roy looked after the Ishval Civil War that changed his life. The dazed and bewildered look. He seemed so lost. Looking at Roy as if he can bring him salvation.

_He's like an addict without his fix…_

"Colonel, Al is missing.." Edward said again in a quiet panic…

While Roy is working his clever mind on what to say to the lost child in front of him. Something, anything that would help Edward. Seeing Edward so defeated and broken stir something inside Roy. A feeling that he couldn't quite put his finger on.. Is it sympathy?

_When I look into your eyes, there's nothing there to see.. Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me… Asking why?_

Roy saw too much of himself when he looked at Edward. He wanted to look away so badly. He wanted to walk away. The feelings of guilt and sad memories are being resurfaced as he looked at Edward's eyes. The mix feelings of desire to hold Edward close to him and tell him its okay. That everything is going to be alright..

The phone rang..

The sudden shrill of noise broke Roy free from deep thoughts. "Stay here.." Roy walked at his usual pace to the telephone on his desk. As he grabbed the handset and placed it at his ear, Roy is looking at Edward the whole time. Still contemplating on what to do. Then the voice on the receiver startled him.

"_Colonel is that you?"_

"Huh?" Roy muttered in confusion.

"_I'm sorry to interrupt your work, but is nii-san there?"_

"You.."He started to talk but change his mind. "Never mind. What is the matter?" Roy asked casually but he already knows what's the matter. Roy Mustang already figured out the situation more or less that only confirmation to his dreaded suspicion is needed.

"_Right now I'm in a town outside central. Nii-san and I decided to spend the night on a hotel, but I took my eyes off him for just a second and he disappeared. This happens sometimes. Usually he comes back laughing, but he always look a little strange, and… He never remembers anything that happened while he's gone"_

"I see, for now just stay in the hotel. I will look for him." Even Roy is amazed with himself for being able to sound so calm and collected. Contrary to his real feelings. Something within Roy finally snap. As he take in the full impact of what Alphonse told him.

"_Colonel.. Could it be that…When he is with me… Nii-san feels pain?"_

Roy Mustang is at loss for words. He doesn't know what to respond to that. He just quickly ended the conversation by telling Alphonse than he'll be sending a search party immediately to give him some piece of mind.

_You're trying to carry every burden with such a young fragile body.._

When Roy walked toward Edward, he now looked at him differently. The arrogant and selfish brat is nowhere to be seen. Replaced by this pitiful lost child in front of him. Life in his eyes are gone. Its like he no longer harbor any will to live. Like he forgot how to breathe.

_This burden and guilt could break you any moment.._

Roy put his hands gently on Edward's shoulder. He motioned the lifeless Edward to sit on the couch. No word of protest or complain could be heard which is usually the case with the 'usual' Edward because he hate being touched or being in close ranged with the Colonel. Which only proves that there's really something wrong with Edward.

Like a doll or a marionette, Edward let himself to be led by Roy. Roy pout his hands on his eyes. He lean forward and whispered

"Don't think.."

He put a blindfold on Edward. He didn't resist at all. As Roy sit on the couch and he made Edward sit on his lap facing him. Roy kissed him and traced the planes of Edward's face. Even though it's a disappointment that he had to put a blindfold on Edward that obscured his view from his glorious golden eyes.

Roy Mustang also stopped himself from thinking. Just moving from his instincts. The only thought playing on his mind is to help Edward get through this. If he can, at least theoretically speaking removed stress from his body.. At least from giving him pleasure physically, it might calm him down.

_For this kid, his little brother is the tranquilizer that keeps him from losing himself… And… He is also the incarnation of his sins…_

Roy proceeded what he was doing while thing inwardly… Thinking that he and Fullmetal are so similar through and through to the core. Trying to be strong even though they're suffering. Carrying all the burden so that the people important to them won't suffer. Hiding in the façade of being arrogant but very capable, but in truth, there's only a very thin line separating them from succumbing to insanity..

_Welcome to my world Edward.._

After that, Edward fell asleep on the couch. Roy called Alphonse to pick him up. The trace of what transpired between them is expertly hidden. If Alphonse noticed anything amissed, he didn't mention it. Roy Mustang won't ever looked at Edward quite the same again..

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**A few days later..**

Colonel Roy Mustang is buried in the mountains of paperwork again today. Its also due of the Fullmetal Alchemist regular report. He'll be here any time soon.

Then a ruckus outside the door could be heard quite clearly inside his office.

"AH..! Just the mere thought that I'll be seeing that Colonel Bastard's face its already making me shuddered all over..! He'll probably find some faults on my report again and insult my height..!" Edward Elric said quite loudly..

"Nii-san, calm down..!" Alphonse said..

"One day, I'll wiped that devilish smirk off his gloating face with a punch..!"

"Nii-san, be quiet he can hear you.."

Then the door from Colonel's office opened without Edward bothering to knock first.. Striding on the office as if he owned the place. Roy's mouth twitched into thin smile out of relief for seeing the Fullmetal so lively and energetic.

_As if everything that transpired before was only a figment of his imagination…_

**DISCLAIMERS:**

_I don't own FullMetal Alchemist. Also the idea and story is based on the doujinshi with the same title. I just felt like there's something missing from that I wrote this one. Please give me some reviews^_^ If you like this or find this interesting. Constructive criticism is also welcome.._


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